Just so…umm….yeah

27 May

I feel just beat down.  Tired and so just….yeah.  To the point that I don’t have words. 

My ex didn’t have to call me yesterday saying that he was taking the papers to his ‘not officially retained’ lawyer till next Tuesday. 

My ex didn’t have to email me with a list of how much money I owe him despite not living there.

My ex didn’t have to reprimand me for not feeding the dogs when I was at the house.  I was running late and barely had enough time to get them, get to his house and drop them off and then get to class.  I just can’t do everything any more. 

Really – it’s the mind games.  It’s the following me.  It’s the acting like he’s still responsible for me – his words, not mine.  It’s the still wanting to claim that we’re ‘married’ in every sense of the word and not accepting that we’re separated. 

It’s the flip-flopping between being cold and hateful to me and being damn near friendly.  I don’t know what to expect every time I get a call from him or see him at the house. 

He’s meeting with his lawyer on Tuesday…I’ve got my fingers crossed that he will sign the damn papers but somehow I think that that is all a pipe dream.


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