One month down

29 May

It’s been a little over a month since I left him.  It’s been a wonderful, crazy, horrible, happy, sad, confusing, clarifying month. 

I’m living with my Mom and learning what that really means…I’ve started EMT classes so that eventually I might be able to get my paramedic…I’ve looked at houses until I feel like a Realtor to find a place that Jersey, Stanley and I can all live and I think I’ve found one:

http://www.mls757.com/Norfolk/Virginia/Homes/Norfolk_VA/Ingleside/Agent/Listing_1911407.html

Apparently it also has water views from the back deck.  I’m waiting on the realtor to call me back to set up an appointment to go and see the house. 

So how do I feel a month later?

Unfinished. 

 

I thought that more would be done, I’d be in a different place mentally and physically and that I wouldn’t have good days and bad.  After all, I made this decision and I knew it was the right one.  I didn’t expect the emotions to come flying out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks.  I didn’t expect to be on this wild roller coaster of feeling completely liberated and wanting to be contained and completely fenced in but wanting to spread my wings.   

So in short – it’s been a surprising month.  I have done more soul searching in the last month than I did in the past  year and have come to realizations that, while shameful, are accurate and freeing. 

 

5 months to go.

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