Sometimes Love Is

13 Aug

Waking up sandwiched in between two 65+lbs of tail-wagging, furry, slobbering dogs. 

I had a nightmare last night – it’s been a while since I’ve had one – and I had it in between bouts of trying to get the dammed ADT alarm thing to stop beeping. 

The premise was simple.  I am going to die alone.  Forgotten and abandoned.  I will become that crazy lady that lives at the end of the street with 40 cats (well, i’m not a fan of cats but you get the picture). 

I was having a bad afternoon yesterday, tormented by things that my ex had said in our past and I was dealing with a lot (A LOT) of anger towards him.  Anger that our marriage hadn’t worked out, anger that we didn’t have children, anger at all the responsibility and blame I readily accepted from him.  Anger at myself for being a doormat.  It didn’t help that my back yard flooded, my basement took on water and my kitchen flooded with the storms that came through yesterday.  So I really wasn’t surprised that I didn’t sleep all that well.

But when I woke up this morning with Stanley’s head on my chest and Jersey curled up into my side, it was probably the greatest gift that I could have recieved.  They were just happy to curl up with me, to get up with me and when the alarm went off, happy to follow me from room to room as I got ready.

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