Archive | September, 2009


24 Sep

Screwed the pooch doesn’t even begin to describe this clusterfuck of an operation.

I electronically tried to transfer the prescription last night.

Went to the stupidass walgreens this morning. They didn’t know anything about it.

Called the 24hr help desk. They told me I was fucked and to call the store.

Waited on hold for 15 minutes to place my prescription.

They asked when I would like to pick up the stupid ass prescription.
This implies that they would have it ready by a time.

I said noon. They said ok.

I go to pick up said prescription at noon. They need 20 more minutes.
I don’t have 20 more minutes. This is my lunch half hour. I’ve already used up my lunch half hour to drive there and back.

So I still don’t have my stupid ass prescription. And I still hate Walgreens.


There’s a reason you are ‘The Ex’

23 Sep

Yesterday I went over to my Ex Husband’s house to get the last piece of furniture that I was owed. An antique table that my ex had kept in the garage.

Everything was good – decent even – until I started picking up on things. Like the brand new bedroom set that my ex bought. That would be the furniture that I begged him to buy but he wouldn’t. He needed a new blu-ray DVD player or some super sound system instead.

And then I noticed that he was keeping the windows open. The windows that I begged him to keep open so that my electric bill (that’s right, MY electric bill) wouldn’t go up.

And then he said it…I responded to some sort of derisive comment with a ‘Fuck You’ to him and he said that he was really horny and did I want to have sex now thank you.

Hold the fuck up. You didn’t want to touch me when we were married. You chose to regularly go out with your friends than stay home with me because I worked ‘screwed up hours’ – yeah, those 0700-1530hrs that supported your ass while you worked 1700-0300ish. Those hours that ‘allowed’ me to cook and clean and keep the dogs quiet so that you could get your sleep.

And then you informed me that you had to go through the house and tighten anything that I put together. I told you that had you put the furniture together, it wouldn’t have been a problem. You said that I never gave you the chance. I said that you were always asleep.

So no. No I don’t want to have sex with you. There is a REALLY good reason why you are my ex. Actually there are multiple really good reasons why you are my ex.

And furthermore, if I slept with you, you could go to the judge and have the six month separation clock reset and I’d spend another six months in limbo.

So no. No way.

Sleep is for the weak

17 Sep

Therefore I must be built Ford Tough. Because last night, yet again, I did not sleep through the night. I got up twice last night to let the dogs out. Woke up numerous other times to manuver the dogs (or myself) into positions so that we could all sleep.

3 Am Wake Up Call

3 Am Wake Up Call

I’m tired. Cranky. Coffee isn’t cutting it. And I damn near want to strangle my boss. I think today will be dedicated to practicing the art of silence because damn, if he tells me one more time how I’m fucked up….dude. I will not be responsible for the words coming out of my mouth.

Geography…a lost art.

16 Sep

Let me just put this out there…

California has never, not even once, been bordered by the Atlantic Ocean. Here’s the proof:

I know, it’s a radical concept and one worthy of reflection. So I’ll give you a moment.

Let me know when you’re done….

Ok, so this is why I even bring this up is because of what I do for the Navy. I’m a Congressional Liaison. Fancy title, huh? Basically it means that I read a lot of Naval policy and formal inquiries from Congress to the Navy. I ensure that appropriate responses are provided to the right people in a (relatively) timely fashion.

So here’s how this whole thing works (an example):

Sailor write his Congressman/woman complaining about XX (whether it’s promotion, unfair treatment, divorcee not getting spousal support payments – whatever). Sailor lives in California. And is attached to any ship – other than an Aircraft Carrier – in California. So the Congressman’s office sends the complaint to the Office of Legislative Affairs who gives it to the Navy Congressional Liaison’s office (all in the Washington DC Metro Area) and then the Director, Navy Staff’s office sends it to my Command and then it ends up on my desk. So I read it and after muddling through the poor grammar, lack of punctuation and obscure request (usually ‘Life’s Not Fair….make it fair just for me!), I realize that my Command, located on the Atlantic Coast doesn’t give two shits about what’s going on in California because CPF (Commander, Pacific Fleet) will care.

I’ve tried to explain it to my counterparts up in DC that if the Atlantic Ocean touches it, my Command will usually care. And if the PACIFIC Ocean touches it, Pacific Fleet will usually care. There are exceptions to every rule but I was trying to keep it simple and therefore would be easily retained. This, however, has resulted in EPIC FAIL. I just got something across my desk that is so not in my Command’s purvew, it’d be like asking the Air Force to drive tanks.

18 People assigned to rescue 1 Man

14 Sep

Dramatic rescue caught on tape Cyclist falls from 50 ft. bridge
Updated: Monday, 14 Sep 2009, 8:45 AM EDT
Published : Sunday, 13 Sep 2009, 11:34 PM EDT

3 Vignettes from this weekend

8 Sep

Here’s the two calls – well, I’ll tell you 3 of them…because they were really interesting to me…

First one: Thursday night around 2130. Get a call for a 27yof who’s having breathing problems. Usually these end up being low income / morbidly obese women having a ‘drama alert’. This one was different. Well spoken, polite woman who was breathing really fast – just couldn’t catch her breath and sharp pain upon inspiration (breathing in) in her left ribcage, right at her bra strap. Turns out she was having ST Elevation ( basically a heart attack. Turns out, she’s Muslim (I swear this is relevant…I don’t usually ask what religion, if any, does my patient follow) but I’d asked her what the last thing she had to eat or drink was – and that’s when she told me that she is Muslim and was fasting for Ramadan and all she’d had to consume the entire day was water. So her electrolytes were all sorts of imbalanced and that’s what was producing this ST elevation. Pretty interesting, huh? Gave her 4 baby aspirin, and nitro but no relief from the pain.

These next two were on Saturday.
1300ish – get called to a townhouse by PD because of a domestic. I found my patient (32 yof) lying on her stomach with her head turned to the left. She said that her husband had punched her in the stomach and then stepped repeatedly on her chest. I did the full assessment (which is usual for me and my partner to switch it up when there is a female victim – either domestic or rape – if I do the assessment, the patient is usually more comfortable and more forthcoming) so I do a full visual (noted no bruising, swelling, abrasions NOTHING on her back, abdomen or chest. No markings of any kind) assessment and I followed that up with a palpation (or touch) assessment – which is in my protocols. Again, noted nothing significant. So we backboard, c-collar and put her on the stretcher and take her to the hospital. She’s going on and on about the pain. Now, not to sound TOO jaded, but this isn’t my first domestic violence call and usually the more people who show up to a call, the more pain the patient says that they are in and more violent the assault.

So I turn her over to the ER RN and go about my business. I come back a couple hours later with the patient who’s story I’ll tell you about below and the nurse pulls me aside, and asks if I was the one who brought in the domestic. I said yes, what’s up? She said that the patient was rushed to our Level I Trauma Center because the patient had torn her aorta and was bleeding into her abdomen and was in VERY real danger of dying. The nurse said that she gave 2 of Dilaudid ( and 4 of morphine and that didn’t cut the patient’s pain. That’s A LOT of pain meds. But still, it wasn’t until the abdominal ultrasound was the aorta tear noted. The patient’s BP was stable, heart rate stable – NOTHING that is usually indicative of bad stuff going on.

1620ish – get a call to a residence because a woman hurt her leg 36hrs ago when ‘Rescue dropped her’. We show up for a woman who is morbidly obese (the kind where the muscle atrophies at the arms/legs but the abdominal fat just keeps growing so the center of balance shifts). Apparently the patient got stuck on her bedside commode the day before and when rescue tried to move her from the commode to the bed, she slipped and her leg (the one she doesn’t have much control over anyways) got ‘pinned’ or ‘bent back’ under her. And now it hurts. And she wants to go to the ER. So it took the 3 fire fighters and the three of us off the ambulance to move her from her wheelchair onto the stretcher. She’s dressed in a nightdress and she stinks to high heaven. It’s my turn to be in the back, so me and the trainee climb up in the back and my trainee starts getting vitals and whatnot while I’m talking to her and calling in my report to the closest hospital. We get there and my partner parks the truck and comes around back and opens the doors wide…which is when he realizes that the patient isn’t wearing any underwear. And he’s at eye level.

I give my partner a huge amount of credit because all he said is ‘she needs a blanket. NOW.’ We cover her up and take her into the ER.