There’s a reason you are ‘The Ex’

23 Sep

Yesterday I went over to my Ex Husband’s house to get the last piece of furniture that I was owed. An antique table that my ex had kept in the garage.

Everything was good – decent even – until I started picking up on things. Like the brand new bedroom set that my ex bought. That would be the furniture that I begged him to buy but he wouldn’t. He needed a new blu-ray DVD player or some super sound system instead.

And then I noticed that he was keeping the windows open. The windows that I begged him to keep open so that my electric bill (that’s right, MY electric bill) wouldn’t go up.

And then he said it…I responded to some sort of derisive comment with a ‘Fuck You’ to him and he said that he was really horny and did I want to have sex now thank you.

Hold the fuck up. You didn’t want to touch me when we were married. You chose to regularly go out with your friends than stay home with me because I worked ‘screwed up hours’ – yeah, those 0700-1530hrs that supported your ass while you worked 1700-0300ish. Those hours that ‘allowed’ me to cook and clean and keep the dogs quiet so that you could get your sleep.

And then you informed me that you had to go through the house and tighten anything that I put together. I told you that had you put the furniture together, it wouldn’t have been a problem. You said that I never gave you the chance. I said that you were always asleep.

So no. No I don’t want to have sex with you. There is a REALLY good reason why you are my ex. Actually there are multiple really good reasons why you are my ex.

And furthermore, if I slept with you, you could go to the judge and have the six month separation clock reset and I’d spend another six months in limbo.

So no. No way.

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