It’s Official – Yesterday blew chunks

19 Nov

Yesterday was my birthday.  It was also the date of finalization of my divorce.  Quite the combo, huh?

The divorce – the court proceedings were uneventful.  I’ll get the paperwork to go back to my maiden name tomorrow or Monday.  No big deal.  What  was a big deal was my Mom.  Apparently I’d done the wrong thing when I texted my ex-husband to let him know that ‘court is over – you can pick up paperwork on Monday’.  That was it.  And then I asked him when the refinancing is complete so that I can get the house that he and I had bought (the one I no longer live in) off of my credit report.  We exchanged about 2 more texts and that was it. 

That was a HUGE error on my part, apparently. 

She asked why I did that – and she didn’t understand that I cannot move forward financially until the house is out of my name. 

And that it hurt a little bit that my ex didn’t come to court – but that it was emblematic of how he treated me in my marriage.  To him, I was a non-person, living in a non-marriage and that the divorce was a non-event. He didn’t even wish me a happy birthday. 

I know it’ll get better.  I understand that – but I didn’t need my mother pointing out all of my shortfalls and errors.  And of all the shit that went down yesterday, I think that hurt the most.  Nothing like finalization of divorce and the realization that a lot of the things you thought were going to happen, probably aren’t.  And that the way you percieve yourself – that is destroyed. 

So when your Mom goes after you….you realize that yes, today sucks.

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