Archive | July, 2010

There’s something brewing….

30 Jul

and I have my fingers crossed!! 

Fingers crossed

 

So as you can see by reading the map key, this projection was done last night (29JUL10 at 8pm).  So by my ROM guessing – I figure that it’ll have progressed to the end of the paths by mid-week.  So next weekend could get VERY interesting around here. 

So on one hand I’m super stoked because this could mean the first good surf of the season. 

On the other hand, I’m running the ASYMCA Mud Run

mud_run_2010_map[1]

Dipshit alert…today’s WikiHow

29 Jul

So I’m just cruising through my day doing what I do and I opened up a  new MS Explorer browser and it opened up to my default iGoogle Page.  At the bottom of this page is the WikiHow’s.  Today is this one:  http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Premenstrual-Girlfriend

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?  The tag line is ‘Women can be cranky a week before, during, and for up to three weeks after their periods because of the hormonal fluctuations of their monthly cycle.’

So some tool-bag decided to publish a how-to manual to be human?

My favorite one is tip #3: Listen to her, even if she’s not making any sense

Let me repeat – ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?

So where’s the WikiHow for dealing with guys on MLB / NFL / College Football Draft Day?  Am I suppose to sit and nod when he’s not making any sense? 

And furthermore, if your compassion skills require a WikiHow’s entry, the odds of you getting any are slim to nill.  So whether or not she’s PMSing will not negatively affect your life.  You can go back to your previously scheduled asshole-ing. 

::facepalm::

King of the Hill…err, Mama

28 Jul

Jersey and Stanley play this game where one of them teases the other by chewing on the desired object of choice – a bone, kong, blanket – whatever.  And the other one finds the high ground to watch / stalk until the exact moment that whoever has the object stops paying strict attention.

Then the one on the high ground leaps / flies through the air and a fight breaks out.  It’s more like a high school level girl fight with a lot of noise but nothing in terms of injuries.  Whomever the victor is after the squabble takes the object and lays down to chew it, in full view of the losing party. 

Later, rinse and repeat – for over an hour.

This is highly entertaining until I realize that if I’m laying on the couch – I am the high ground.  So Jersey and Stanley each take leaps off of me onto each other leaving me with awkward scratches and bruises. 

Of the two of them, Stanley is usually the first to tire of the King of the Mama / Neener-Neener game. 

And then you get this: 

It’s a rough life, being a Stanley dog.

Food Porn…otherwise known as Holy Shit, I cooked

27 Jul

Holy shit - I can cook...and it's EDIBLE!

So I’ve decided to join my two besties and start taking pictures of the food that I cook that is remarkably edible.  Now I can cook to survive but cooking the sinfully tasty – nah, that’s not really been my thing.  But since I’m damn near 30 I decided that it’s time to actually start taking some time (occasionally, let’s not get all radical here) to start elevating my cooking.

So I prepared homemade pizza last night (made my own crust from PioneerWoman’s website), added fresh basil, mozzarella, and pepperoni and covered with more mozzarella and parmesan cheese. 

I paired the pizza with Old Brown Dog Ale.

What was the occasion?  It was part of a trade I made with one of the guys in my Rescue Squad.  He fixes my computer (which entailed replacing my motherboard) and I made dinner.  More than equitable. 

But seriously – dinner was amazing and I have leftovers for lunch today.

I could get used to this whole cooking-really-good-food thing….

Firefighters should not drive ambulances. EVAR

26 Jul

Saturday was hotter than hell.  I swear – Satan must have looked around and went ‘nope, too hot there’.  So what did I do?  You guessed it boys and girls – as opposed to going to the beach, the pool, a lake, a river or any body of water that might have cooled me off – I was on the ambulance.  It was 90 degrees by 8am.

Here’s the scene – 10 ambulances staffed, 3 zone cars against a city of 432,000 with an additional 250K tourists.  In 106 degree heat.  (for the record, I think that extreme cold and extreme heat make people stupid.  Like dropping close to 100 IQ points Stupid) So my partner Black Cloud and I set off.  Pre-code at a dialysis center…rectal bleed across town (which earned that patient a rather quick rectal exam as soon as we got to Wanna B ER)…elderly man passing out while landscaping w/ pre-existing cardiac problems including 2 by-passes (see what I mean about stupid?), car accident damn near in the next city, ice pick in the hand at a neighboring college and then – 17yo male on a bicycle hit by a car going 45mph. 

This is where I leared rather quickly that firefighters who don’t usually drive ambulances SHOULD.NOT.EVAR.DRIVE – especially with me in the back.  I swear I felt like the ball in a pinball machine. 

Black Cloud and I are in the back of the ambulance, sweating our respective asses off, with Evil-freaking-Kanevil from the Ladder behind the wheel.  I think he forgot that there were real-live people in the back.  I am supremely grateful for the padding that surround the supply compartments – because as Leadfoot McGee rounded the s-curves on First Court road, I banged my head into them. Over and over again. 

Black Cloud was in charge of the patient’s head – cleaning up all the bloody bits – and he kept laughing at me.

The best part was when I asked Evil Kanievil to have the zone car meet us on one of the major roads leading to Trauma I ER, he got so focused on getting us to the ER that the zone car was behind us, lights and sirens, doing it’s best to get our attention and get us to pull over.  Black Cloud was laughing his ass off when I was yelling to Evil to ‘just PULL OVER’ as the zone car hit it’s horn again.  Evil responded by hitting a pothole and bashing my head against the underside of one of the compartments. 

I think that Evil hadn’t had that much of an adreneline rush in some time.  But when the patient, who’s on a backboard asks if you’re ok – it really makes me want to smack the driver of the ambulance who just took us on a ride that would make the Dukes of Hazard proud.