50/50 – well hell.

29 Sep

I had a great weekend with my dad and my family.  Well, except for what my Dad said and the brawl that my sister and I got into. 

My Dad has Stage IV, Type 3-b, Node positive prostate cancer. He has a 50-50 shot of making it to 75.  He’s on hormone therapy but the cure might kill him.  He’s going to start radiation – to get off the hormone therapy – in January.

The problem with the hormone replacement is that it makes his weight go up and up and up.  So his doctor is now worried about the amount of weight he’s carrying and what it’s doing to his heart.  My grandfather – my Dad’s dad – died of a heart attack. So there’s family history there. 

I didn’t know it was this bad.  I knew he was having problems but my last conversation with my Mom indicated that he’d be on hormone replacement pills for a little while and then everything would be better. 

The doctor apparently has routinely given him bad news – that dealing with the weight and swelling ankles and joint pain – was as good as it was ever going to get. Except last week when they said that the longer his PSA tests come back clean (he goes in for blood work every 4 months) the better his odds are.

I never ever ever thought I’d be talking about my dad and ‘odds’ in the same sentence.  This wasn’t supposed to be like this.  So what do I do now?


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