Tag Archives: life

Words

20 Jul

 

Main Entry:
1in·de·pen·dent 
 
Function:
adjective
Date:
1611
1: not dependent: as a (1): not subject to control by others : self-governing (2): not affiliated with a larger controlling unit <an independent bookstore> b (1): not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent <an independent conclusion> (2):not looking to others for one’s opinions or for guidance in conduct (3): not bound by or committed to a political party c (1): not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood) <independent of her parents> (2): being enough to free one from the necessity of working for a living <a person of independent means> d: showing a desire for freedom <an independent manner> e (1): not determined by or capable of being deduced or derived from or expressed in terms of members (as axioms or equations) of the set under consideration
  
 

Main Entry:
stub·born 
 

Function:

adjective
Etymology:
Middle English stibourne, stuborn
Date:
14th century
1 a (1): unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish (2): justifiably unyielding : resolute b: suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature <a stubborn jaw>2: performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent manner <stubborn effort>3: difficult to handle, manage, or treat <a stubborn cold>4: lasting <stubborn facts>

 

I have been called both.  Fiercely independent and unbelievably stubborn.  Typically they are negatives – character flaws.  I don’t see them that way.  I see these two words as being two separate issues, two separate words and ones that are not used interchangeably. 
Now that I’m finally breaking free of constraints – my ex or living at my mothers – I find myself craving freedom and being (at times) bull-headed to get it. 
I just think that after being under someones thumb (my ex’s) for so long, I need this time to really re-construct who I am.  And I’m going to embrace my independence – as scary as it is. 
  
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An Update on My Life

23 Jun

Yesterday was a busy and productive day for me…

1) I gave the signed Property Settlement Agreement to the lawyer so that they can file it.  Gotta get them to schedule a court date to make this official. 

2) Gave the security deposit to the Realtor for the house (the hyperlink is in one of the posts below). 

So it’s two big steps forward.  But honestly, when I gave the PSA to the lawyer, it really had this profound physical effect on me.  I felt partly lighter, partly ready to panic and partly ready to cry.  Now we all know that my marriage was over.  Really over.  And that this is the best way forward.  But….there is this air of finality to it.  I don’t know what I was expecting…but I was caught off guard by my reaction.  I really don’t know how to explain it but the closest feeling that I have is when I graduated from college – but before graduation.  The final exam is taken, the grades are in the professors hands and you have nothing to do.  Everything that you’re used to – the studying, the cramming, the schedule life of  ‘oh crap, I have to get to class’ – all of that isn’t there.  But you’re not quite done.  There’s just one more ceremony to do in order ot make it official. 

The only difference is where graduation was around 2-3 days from when your finals ended, my divorce won’t be final for another four months.  Hmmm…..

 

About the house – I am so excited.  Really am.  Have been planning and thinking how I am going to decorate, what’s going to go where, finding out whether I am allowed to paint, what kind of curtains – yeah, that stuff I am really really excited about.  I just can’t wait to get that going.  Looks like if all goes right, I’ll be moving around the 6th or 7th of August (which continues my streak of only moving during the hottest part of the year…).  I can’t wait to post pictures 🙂